What are you scared of

       Are you still scared of things you were ten years ago, or when you were a child?

                     

                                                                                                Is it okay to still be scared?

    What do you do about it?

                                             Are you ever going to get over it???!

sleep with one eye open, gripping your pillow tight

SPRING TIME

HIYA! Hope you're all okay! This is just a very short post of some photos I've taken in the past couple weeks. The editing is a little bit different than usual too! I wanted more colours and lighting in the pictures to capture the colours and give them a spring time (a little bit summery too, I guess) feel. Hope you'll like them:)

  

I'M BACK?!!?

HELLO LOVLIES! 

I definitely have some explaining to do! (excuses, excuses) I was really hyped up about this blog when I first created it. I chose to do '52 weeks challenge', unfortunately a part of me really started to hate it as I had to stick to different themes each week. So rather than trying to think more creatively, focusing more on one theme and shooting more I developed a bit of mental block. I worked a lot at the start of it as well, so had very little time to think about it and even less time to actually shoot anything!
I origanally wanted to do this challenge because I felt like sometimes I don't use my camera as much as I should, but when I tried to force myself to use it more, it made me want to use it a lot less. A bit of a weird logic there. I have realised that even though I don't do any shooting I always have editing to do and new pictures to upload on flickr. I found that I actually do think and do a lot more of photography related stuff even if it isn't taking photos! I also bought an online photography course, which I'm already more than half way through! I've also started to do more filming/editing as it's something I wanted to do for a while. I've also come back to my arty side and I've been painting/exploring in the art field as well!

As well as that, there's been a lot of personal stuff that I'm not going to go into tooo much. But usually when I disappear for such a long time it has a lot of to do with myself. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks and I have done for most of my life. It's not something I ever share, but first step on the road to recovery is acceptance, right? That's probably been the hardest thing to do for me as for a very long time, I've been beating myself up for it. A lot of it has to do with past events and being surrounded by people who treat me unfair and unkind almost every single day which gets really tiring. I've been in and out of jobs a very long time, which hasn't helped the situation.

I made this blog especially for the photography challenge and for some other bits and bobs, but when I realised that I didn't really want to do the challenge anymore I thought I had nothing else to put on here.
However things have started to look up a little bit. I'm starting a new job tomorrow. I've got offered two paid photography related jobs which I'll be doing as where and when needed. I've gone outside my comfort zone a little bit more. I hopefully will be moving in a few months time and focussing more on my career path. Gratitude & positive vibes.
So this brings me here, wanting to keep up on my blog with the things I'm doing and photos I'm taking. I don't want to say that I'm going to post every day, week or month but hopefully you'll be hearing more from me now:)

I'm going to leave you with this photo. I did some painting few weeks ago, it was supposed to be quite dark, depressing and just blahhh. To be honest I just experimented with this one. I wanted it to look a bit different once I splashed water over it, but actually I'm happy with the texture it created.

3rd week

There's times that I have zero photography ideas, and there's now, time that I have so much ideas that I don't know where to start!
I've decided to get some new equipment as well which will hopefully allow me to do a lot more. But for now I'm going to upload some pictures from the workshop I had a chance to attend in Grand Theatre, Blackpool with internationally renowned photographer Sean Conboy.
So, not much of the theme for the 3rd week, but that was my first chance to photograph the Grand and hopefully not the last!

Flikr
Facebook

2nd week; 'A part of you'

This weeks theme was 'a part of you' and even though, I had little simple ideas at first, I decided no to go with any of them because they seemed simple and pretty boring. So it brings me here, couple days later and still unsure of what I'm doing.

I decided to just go with the photos that I've took in the past and never posted them anywhere. 'A part of me' unseen photos. It's not the most meaningful post, but I've tried a few new things, and I miss my blue hair a lot.

1st week; 'Beginnings'

This week, the first week of my project, the theme was beginnings. I had a lot of ideas in my head at the start of the week, but just ended up going with one of them. & even though the final thing worked out completely different than I had in mind.

Firstly, I got some daffodils as they've always reminded me of the new year, the spring time, and how I used to watch them grow outside my grandmas flat every year while living in Poland. I then decided to get more flowers and mainly use them in this weeks theme. I love having flowers around me, the colours, the smells and watching them grow. Which I used as my 'beginning'. 

The flowers blossoms, it's the beginning of their life as a full grown, beautiful flower, some of them will reach their full potential but some of them never will. 

I wanted to concentrate on the blossoming part though, and how it reflects our lives. Unlike flowers we have a lot more time to 'blossom'. But the beginning is the most essential part of it, which usually proves to be the hardest part as well. & a lot of times we need an excuse like the New Year to start the things we've wanted to do. For me, this blog is one of them, which I really do intend to stick with, and photography which I haven't had much time for at all, but now I'm going to make it more compulsory for myself, as I just love doing it.

So, here's my photos from this week project:)

 

Flikr
Facebook

52 weeks

This year, I have finally decided to do the 52 weeks photography challenge! 

I have wanted to do one of the photography challenges for absolutely ages now, I was very lucky that my Santa this year got me a tripod and a camera remote which I felt I needed the most to be able to start of with this project.
I have been researching challenges, and I had no idea there was soo many out there! So I've decided 52 weeks would probably suit me the most right now as I've been working hell of a lot, and doing one project per week seems doable:)!
Then, there was alll those themes to choose.. So I've mixed it up a little bit. I've got different themes for each week, which I chose, however some of them I might spend more than a week on if I feel like there's more potential for them(and ofc have some ideas in my head), on top of that. I want most of my themes to have person/people involved in it, at least parts of body in some ways, plus I want to concentrate on the things I'm grateful in life and basically try to adapt all these three things in every weeks project!
I have started this blog to be able to share my journey, my photographs through those 52 weeks. Plus maybe some of my old photoshoots and other things I have done/do in between.  I already have Flikr where I post most of my photos, so I'm going to leave a link to it and to my facebook page, which I've not used in a very long time but will be returning there with updates and new posts!


https://www.flickr.com/photos/karolinanana/

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Kay-Ska-Photography/818876374808790?ref=aymt_homepage_panel